Austin reviews DOUCHEBAG THE MOVIE: PART 6 (aka FAST & FURIOUS 6)!!!


“All roads lead to this!”  That tagline cracks me up.  Yes.  The douchbags are back!  Why do I call them douchebags?  Cause most likely, all of these characters would have made fun of me and beat me up during High School.  It’s true!  I also dub this franchise “DOUCHEBAG: THE MOVIE!” because they bring all of the real douchbags in life out to the theater.  It’s kind for scary for me.  I don’t know whether to eat popcorn or run for my life.  I dare not look some of these assholes in the eye, cause I don’t want to get shoulder-checked into a locker.  Oh well, at least there will be lots of Mountain Dew purchased at the cinema this weekend.

But seriously, these movies are enjoyable.  It’s fun to laugh at these douchebags as they try to act macho.  I get a kick out of it.  If you want a brief history of what I thought of the other films.  You can find that in the first paragraph of my FAST FIVE review here.

The last one ended with the Toretto’s crew hitting a big pay-day and retiring.  Hobbs is still looking for those guys, but finds out about a group of bad guys that are dealing in vehicular warfare.  Hobbs does find Toretto and offers him a proposition for his team.  He will pardon all of them if they help him.  Toretto refuses, but then Hobbs informs him that his old girlfriend Lettie (who supposedly died in the 4th film) is working with the bad guys.  Before you know it, the crew is reformed and they all go on the mission, with the exception of Mia, who is taking care of her new baby.  Toretto gets a free pass from his current girlfriend to pursue his lost love, but they are dealing with some heavy shit.  The bad guy, Shaw, has a bunch of cars that look like Road Warrior versions of Formula 1 cars.  They rip through anything.  The plan is to stop Shaw from robbing shit, I guess.  But that’s not really important.  What is important are the action scenes.

So yeah, the plot.  Just like I said in my FAST FIVE review, you don’t go to these movies for the story.  You go for the cars and action.  This isn’t about street racing anymore.  The franchise has turned to full-fledged action mode.  The action scenes are just as spectacular as any American John Woo film (BROKEN ARROW, FACE/OFF).  In fact, one of the best action scenes is between Lettie and a new cop character played by MMA fighter Gina Carano in a subway station.  And while that fight is going on, Han and Roman are fighting some Asian dude, which is exciting and funny at the same time, as they are no match for him.  Other action set pieces worth noting: an extended chase in broad daylight involving a tank along the side of a mountain has some awesomely ridiculous moments.  And the enormous finale which has the crew chasing down a plane (on the longest fucking runway in history) with their cars, while Toretto and Hobbs fight Shaw and a huge fucking dude on board the plane.  There’s some great moments during this sequence.

I don’t think the action is quite as well crafted as it was in FAST FIVE.  It’s a little more chaotic this time, but sort of adds to the excitement.  What this film does do better this time round is how it handles the characters.  It assumes the audience knows everyone well enough, and expands on their personalities a bit.  I like the way the characters play off of each other in this one.  Everyone seems to be having a good time here.  Diesel, The Rock, Paul Walker…. the whole gang.  Sung Kang has a lot more to do in this one too, and it really expands his relationship with Gal Gadot.  What they do with some of these characters will surprise some fans.  Michelle Rodriguez is back, and seems to be having a good time.  I liked her first confrontation with Diesel.  Luke Evans is fine as the villain, who seems to be doing a Jason Statham impersonation.  Heh heh.   I also loved the inclusion of Gina Carano.  She doesn’t have much charisma…. so she fits right in with these meatheads. She’s super tough and hot and I just love to look at her.  Yummy!

Justin Lin still does a decent job directing, though I think they used more CGI here than the last one.  It doesn’t look nearly as it did in the 4th film, but it’s noticeable at times.  But it also adds to the silliness of the movie.  Speaking of silly.  The dialogue is again, laughable.  I love how they try to make the movie so serious by having Diesel talk about how important the “family” is.  In fact, you could play a drinking game involving how many times he talks about “family” in this movie.  Made me crack up every time.  Oh yeah, don’t leave right away, or you’ll miss a surprise (which has been spoiled by pretty much every fanboy site on the internet) that had me rolling my eyes, and made me chuckle.  If you don’t want to know what it is.  Don’t read any news about the upcoming Fast and Furious 7.  Also, the IMDB gives it away too.

So yeah.  These movies are big, dumb and stupid.  But they’re starting to get really fun.  I had a good time at this movie.  It’s not a smart movie, and the movie knows it.  In fact, it rubs are nose in just how dumb it really is, and I like that.  It knows what it is, and is damn proud.  It’s probably an oxy-moron to give these movies bad reviews at this point in the game.  If you like these movies, then you’ll love this one.  If you don’t like them, you won’t like it.  This review is probably pretty pointless, because YOU should already know if you want to see this or not.  After a rocky middle road in the franchise (3 and 4), this series has found its footing again.  It’s a fun, stupid movie with some crazy action scenes that will have the audience hooting and hollering.   Good times.  ★★★ (out of ★★★★)

– Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action and mayhem throughout, some sexuality and language.

– Running time: 2hrs 10min.

Categories: Austin Kennedy, Reviews

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